When Motherhood Is A Far Cry ...

Ever wondered about IVF Treatments?

It was the first time…I had found out that working abroad had its perks aside the benefits of the job and other living comforts; I could get medical aid. I could even have In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) treatment twice a year … for free! And so the journey began. Doctor visits, explanation of medical jargons, all with the reality of going back home with a truck-load of injections. They say it quite subtly, ‘you have to inject yourself every day with these, and we will monitor the effect’.

At first, it seemed fun - like a mini-adventure. The process of injecting yourself every day was painful but bearable with a nice pity-party from your doting spouse. When all that fades away, the reality could be agonising. You had to inject yourself with a cocktail of hormones and medication daily to stimulate egg production.

At the final stages, where the Gonal F injections are given, you start to get ready for the eggs to be harvested. At this point, your hubby needs to bring the sperm (Don’t ask me how …he he). For this, you ’re placed in a state of mild slumber while they almost surgically put tubes in to take out the eggs that had been produced. I had great stats with 22 eggs harvested. The joy was palpable; this was definitely going to work!

The harvested eggs are fertilised outside the body and left for 3-5 days to grow naturally before being put back inside you. Once they are implanted, the job of the doctor ends and nature takes over. The doctors can drop it in but the egg needs to connect to the wall of the uterus and grow. If for any reason it does not hang in there, it comes out after 14 days as your period.

Kisha and Mom

The next 14 days of waiting could be the longest in the life of anyone going through IVF. No matter how promising your stats are, this part you cannot help, you simply wait and hope that you will be part of the positive statistics.

My first attempt at the 2ww (2-week wait) was hell. I was too optimistic for words. Every normal symptom felt like a pregnancy symptom to me, I was acting and talking like I was pregnant. I had always been an over-achiever, and so of course this simple process would be a breeze, especially with everything in my favour. After all, I was young, fertile and active.

So by the 10^th day of the wait when I spotted blood, I was convinced it was a pregnancy symptom. I called the doctor to tell him about my symptom but he knew better. He quietly asked me to come in and started to manage my expectations.

By day 12, it became a full-blown period. I was completely heart-broken and did not want to do it again. I was disappointed, almost betrayed. It appeared that the only part God had to handle was the part that failed.

If you’re hoping to try out IVF, do it with all joy and clear expectations - the journey is fulfilling when you stay positive. I did many more IVF treatments after that and my attitude was always the same. Today, we have a beautiful daughter we are so grateful for. However, it was with my first cycle that I understood a simple lesson: IVF is not about the stats; it is about God’s time. Everything in life has a purpose; and regardless of how bleak and uncertain things may seem, we must stay positive to overcome.

Happy Holidays!